I arrived at the Courthouse about 45 minutes before my scheduled docket time of 9:30. I wanted to get a sense of the process before my case came up. I made it past the metal detector on the second try; I had to return my Official Cub Scout pocketknife to the saddlebag of the bike. Having been rendered harmless I entered Courtroom 2 where a dozen or so alledged scofflaws waited their turn for justice. I was unprepared for what I saw and heard.

Traffic court is hilarious. This is the human comedy in all its absurd glory. People of all stations, most having been exposed to too many episodes of The People’s Court, are lined up to have their showdown with justice. It was a fantastic display of sincerity, twisted logic, creative storytelling, shading of the truth, righteous indignation and outright fabrication. The Judge, like all in his position I suspect, had heard it all before.

So my strategy was one of hoping that Trooper Arnold had not done his paperwork and therefore no affidavit had been filed with the court. I submitted a written request to the court two weeks prior to my court data requesting a copy of the affidavit. The prosecutor’s office is required to provide me with a copy at least one week prior to my court date. Not having received the affidavit, I was pretty confident that one had not been filed and that my case would be dismissed. If one had been filed and I had not received a copy at least one week prior to court, the prosecution would have failed in discovery and the ticket would be dismissed. Indeed, this is exactly what happened to another fellow.

I was speeding. I got caught. I was prepared to pay the full fine in cash. But if I was going to do that, by golly I was going to make sure that the other side did their part to the letter. I figured that I had nothing to lose in doing so. After all, if I contested it and the other side did do everything properly, I would pay the fine. If I don’t contest it, I would pay the fine. I was not going to stand up there and, if asked “the” question, lie. But by contesting it I force the other side to show that they dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s. If they missed one, I’m off the hook. Nothing to lose, everything to gain.

At 9:30 the Judge read the roll call of cases for the 9:30 docket. Afterwards he explained that there were really 3 possibilities here: a mitigation hearing in which he may or may not reduce the fine, a deferral hearing and a contested hearing. He also advised that once we chose to proceed with a contested hearing we could not switch to a mitigation or deferral hearing. Finally my turn came and I stepped up to the podium. The Judge read the preamble and said that an affidavit HAD been filed with the court. The Judge asked if I wished to proceed with the contested hearing. “Sir, may I ask a clarifying question?”, I asked. “Of course.” he replied. “Sir, I submitted a written request to the receive a copy of the affidavit on May 9. I did not receive a copy.”

“Do you have any proof that you submitted the request?” he asked. “Yes, sir. I have a copy of the letter and certified receipt indicating that it was received,” I replied. The Judge asked that I bring them up to the bench and he looked at them saying “You sent it to the wrong address. You sent it to the court, not the prosecutor’s office.” [Uh-oh.] “Sir I sent the letter to the address on the summons.” I protested. “Nonetheless I will not find that the prosecution has failed in discovery. Do you want to continue this at a later date or continue with the contested hearing now?” he asked.

Now certain that the paperwork had been filed properly, and not really having any evidence to offer to counter the trooper’s statement, and not wanting to take more time from work to come back, I resorted to Plan B. “Sir, do I still have an option for deferral?” I asked. “Yes, you do. It would be a $75 fee and base don your driving record, no other conditions.” he answered. “Sir, that would be fine.” I responded. “So ordered. When can you pay the $75?” he asked. “Today.” I answered. “Great. See the clerk for your paperwork and pay the cashier.”

So I paid my $75 bucks and the ticket is all gone. No other stipulations. It is not hanging over my head for the next 12 months, my insurance company will never hear about it. It’s like it never happened.

If you find yourself in a situation like mine here are a few things that I learned. [Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice. I am unfamiliar with laws in states other than Washington (and am not an expert here either). Use at your own risk.]

Do’s and Don’t of Traffic Court

DO request a copy of the citing officer’s sworn affidavit. The prosecution is required to file the affidavit with the court in the case of a contested hearing. If the affidavit is not filed, your case will be dismissed immediately. Oh, and make sure you send it to the correct address.

DON’T be late to court. If you miss your docket, you might be there all day until the Judge can squeeze you in.

DON’T say anything unless asked. If asked a question answer it as simply as possible.

DON’T volunteer information or details unless asked.

DON’T give the Judge attitude. It will not go well for you.

DON’T lie. Ever. If you committed the offense, don’t say you didn’t. If you committed the offense your only ethical way of avoiding the punishment is if the “system” did not do its part. If someone did not file paperwork properly or on time or with proper notification to all parties, then you are done. But, if you are guilty and everyone did their job properly, you should face the music. Of course I’m talking victimless infractions here. If you injure someone or damage their property, that’s a whole other kettle of fish. Hire a lawyer.